Friday- June 25, 2021

Dear Marion,

    How many times did I hear dad say,” money doesn’t grow on trees”? You told your dad once at the dinner table you saved a lot of money on your recent purchase and he responded in his dry manner,” really? Show me this money you saved.” I was always anxious about spending money growing up and you used to tease me about my need to save...dad did not. At some point, I embraced the joy of spending and it took a long while to find my balance.

    In my mid-twenties, I spent a day walking around the Art Expo at The Jacob Javits Center with my best friends from college. They were engrossed in the whole experience and talking about investing in prints and paintings. While I grew up in our home filled with art including prints and paintings, I never felt compelled to open my purse strings. Spend on shoes, clothes, going out with friends? Absolutely, but even then, I was pretty calculated about spending. Not surprising as my account was often near empty. These were lean years.

     Happy to be hanging with my (“family”)friends I was also slightly bored until I spotted The Girls. The subject was three women sitting on a couch talking in an intimate way as only best friends can do and they were dressed uniquely different from one another. Style and drink in hand, talking with their hands, I could almost hear their conversation. We moved on and I asked one friend who seemed to have a more pragmatic approach to his search, how do you know what to purchase and how much to spend? He said two things: 1) I research the artist and compare them to others in their category. 2) If it’s a print, what number is it, and how many have they printed in total. He stopped, looked at me, and said, “Most importantly, does it speak to you?”I thought about that all afternoon.  

        “You are like an elephant, always listening and remembering everything.” If I only had a nickel for every time you said that to me. Funny, I feel as though I spent the first 18 years of my life listening and soaking up every bit of information I could and then the rest of my years thus far talking. I may be hearing what is going on but I am often not really listening. 

    We had more fun joking at dad’s expense about his hearing or lack thereof. We even went so far as to research and talk about the ‘ear trumpet’ or huge cone that we should purchase for dad. It was the original hearing aid and was produced for Ludwig van Beethoven. Interesting how that creative large shape evolved into the tiny hearing devices of today. All of those years’ dock building, the Battle of the Bulge(WWll), and a concussion contributed to badly needed hearing aids which you eventually convinced him to buy but spent more time collecting dust in the corner of his drawer. 

    There is nothing clinically wrong with my hearing, it is simply my concentration. Sometimes my brain just needs a reboot so that I may be able to hear something from a different perspective. A family friend was explaining to me for the ‘millionth’ time how to use the word ‘they’ as a gender-fluid description for one person. I often get confused as to when she is talking about one individual as ‘they’ or ‘them’ and not a group of people. My friend will be further into the conversation before I realize she is indeed talking about a friend and not the friend’s entire family. I find I avoid this new terminology because it’s new and unfamiliar and I don’t want to make a mistake. Time changes everything(sometimes even grammar). Words and their meaning or usage evolve or dissolve.  Friendships grow or reinvent themselves or move on. Memories change or alter or disappear. Following your heart and listening along the way will always bring you to where you need to be... for you. Sometimes we trip or lose our way but we need to keep listening and learning. This came to me by your example.

Oh…. by the way, I get to look at the print “The Girls” each and every day. It still speaks to me.

Talk soon.

Forever Yours

Oh…One More Thing…I almost forgot to tell you, we are researching and planning some Road Trips for this Summer. We are so excited and can’t wait to see what we discover. I will keep you posted!

Quote:

“Continuous effort- not strength or intelligence- is the key to unlocking our potential.”

Winston Churchill

Former Prime Minister of the United Kingdom

1874-1965