Faith by Design
Wednesday, December 16, 2020
Dear Marion,
Faith. Strong word with so much intent. We were taught by example to work on this each and every day through prayer, your actions, and our conversations. The first time I saw dad up long before sunrise kneeling and leaning on the ottoman in our living room, I was pretty young and headed for the bathroom. I knew not to disturb and at some point, he explained that was how he chose to start each day. Communication? ...Dad and I..ugh! Years later he told me that his morning prayer began when he was in WWII and that it continued to help him through difficult times. Dad added, when things get too heavy and weigh you down, don’t be afraid to hand them over and let go, you’re not alone. I have found that faith has to be nurtured and constantly tended to so that it may be strengthened and grow deeper within me. Of course, I looked up the definition- Faith is complete trust or confidence in someone or something.
This past week, a neighbor behind us began a project with their home. Last year they had presented plans to the community to demolish and build two homes on this plot of land and it was rejected. Amongst the confusion this year, I did not follow up to see what direction they were taking as it has been a rental and I dropped the ball. As they began dismantling the fence, trucks and a dumpster parked, I realized their plans to do something was approved. Periodically, I glanced over and saw the outer layers of this home being peeled back and removed, only to present the query why did they cover that beautiful cedar shake with vinyl siding. The back section must have been added years after the original build. It was popular a few decades ago to simply cover all imperfections to achieve a consistent overall end product and a presumably more cost-effective bottom line. In doing so, the character of the original home was changed and the owners most likely loved it. For me, peeling back these layers gave me a sense of what our neighborhood must have looked like at the beginning of its conception. I think it must have been lovely in a hearty, seaside, turn of the century way. You and I have often lovingly described my town and many townspeople as ‘salt of the earth’ which admittedly has changed since SuperStorm Sandy. It was and still is vastly diverse from an economic standpoint but when I purchased our home twenty-four years ago it was also primarily full-time and/or generational residents with a large percentage of Irish heritage. Remember how I used to reference ‘Mayberry’ the town in The Andy Griffith Show (filmed from 1960-1968) often when describing my town. No one cared how much money you made, what brand your label read, or what career you coveted.
The beautiful sunrise over the beach, incredible sunsets over the river, friendly faces, ability to walk or ride your bike locally are still amongst my reasons for loving this town, but… there are ‘The’floods and the very strong winds. This town is not for the weak of spirit, I often think that’s what brings the town together despite the very different viewpoints. It’s survival, it’s a faith we all need to have to survive the winter months, the Nor’easters, and the year-round floods. Thank goodness for the more recent underground pump which has alleviated many a full moon flood.
During the after-effects of Sandy, our family was amongst the “homeless” in our town and all along the coast. This home served as our primary and only home at that time (presently too). You teased me when this was our second home, my security blanket - there for me to escape city living when we needed the slower pace and relaxation. We offered it to friends when they needed time away from their busy lives too. That sense of security washed away that day for me and I know we were lucky comparatively speaking. Two weeks post-Sandy, the Community was allowed to go home to begin the road to recovery. It was near Thanksgiving and a neighbor told us to go to the firehouse for cleaning care packages from The Red Cross and that they were serving lunch for anyone working in the community. Gaining momentum on our purging wet and moldy items, I didn’t want to stop and take a break but your grandchildren were antsy and so we walked into town and joined the line. We often talk about the importance of giving and the lessons we want to teach our children to be more empathetic, but at that moment I learned another often difficult lesson.
Receiving. There were parents from the next town over (and from your grandchildren’s school) amongst the many caring volunteers serving the lunch. On the other side of the building, the Coast Guard stood passing out emergency care packages, sleeping bags, cots, blankets, etc. An incredible storm of emotion splashed over me, I couldn’t speak. I felt embarrassed, I thought we didn’t deserve it, I was a control freak without control, and then complete gratitude.
That day wasn't the first time I witnessed someone not realizing the importance of receiving a gift graciously. It was, however, the first time I became aware that I had a difficult time receiving graciously. As children, I think the act of receiving comes more naturally. Some very fortunate Sundays or Saturdays, we would wake up to the undeniable aroma of Dad’s Norwegian Waffles wafting through to my bedroom mixed with the smell of coffee bubbling in a coffee pot that I now own. I fully embraced the receiving without any difficulty of that otherworldly gift of dad’s waffles then and now.
Our home has gone through many transformations.. it is over one hundred years old. In the last twenty-four years, I have been fortunate in that I have heard many a story about those that have come before us in this home and their details regarding its design and structure. The original plans from the structural engineer(before purchasing) were not ideal and we needed to do seemingly endless projects to make our home whole again. We witnessed many layers being peeled back and discovered interesting things along the way. I had faith in my contractor, my love of my town, and my own intuition. We had enough faith to do much of it again after Sandy.
When my original siding needed to be replaced, decisions had to be made: replace with similar material, change to a more economical or practical material, or an altogether different style. I needed to explore what look was right for me and the surround. This required research, talking to professional installers, comparing samples, and talking to salespeople about the pros and cons. Lastly and most importantly, I needed to have faith that I would make the right decision for myself, and in time my family. For us, it was the cedar.
This Holiday Season, celebrate Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanzaa...whatever path you follow don’t forget to work diligently on your faith in yourself.
Talk Soon,
Forever Yours
Quote:
“We have faith that future generations will know that here, in the middle of the twentieth century, there came a time when men of good will found a way to unite, and produce, and fight to destroy the forces of ignorance, and intolerance, and slavery, and war.”
Franklin D. Roosevelt
32nd President of the United States of America 1933-1945
1882-1945